There are some basics to planning a wedding, like making sure everything and everyone is coordinated, or making sure you track expenses and meet your budget. But there are also some context-specific things to consider when planning such a major life event. Tamil weddings, on average at least, tend to be grand affairs, and with that come some unique (and not so unique) lessons learned. For those of you who are planning your wedding for 2026, here are some lessons that we learned when trying to get ours off the ground.
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Make sure your vendor is writing things down
Seems intuitive enough. But we've all dealt with the occasional vendor who takes the ” yeah, no problem, we'll take care of that” approach. There is a reassuring element to this, and often there was a part of me that felt confident with the idea that everything would be taken care of in line with our wants; but in most cases, these “verbal contracts” are not enforceable. For example, if your vendor doesn't come through with a deliverable that you agreed on verbally, you don't have much recourse to argue your point. Your vendor has all the leverage to say “no that was never discussed.” So when you're speaking to your vendor, make sure they're writing things down. When you say that you want a certain type of decor or a certain centerpiece or a certain stage or a certain chair, make sure that they're actively taking notes and get everything in writing. Most couples, especially in Tamil weddings, do not see the final setup until the day of the wedding; you don't want to walk in on the day of the wedding and be surprised because a major deliverable like a stage or a piece of decor is missing. So when you're talking to your vendor, get all your agreements in writing and formalise the details in an enforceable contract; if they give you updates or request any minor changes, have the contract updated. If they seem hesitant or don’t see the value in signing a contract, it might be a good indicator to walk away.
Avoid restrictive or overextended vendors
Another lesson we learned was to approach restrictive or overextended vendors carefully. A lot of vendors offer a variety of services (e.g. a catering company that also offers a venue, decor and florals). While there is nothing wrong with providing all these services, there’s a strong chance that if your vendor is doing all these things, they're going to be stretched pretty thin. In our experience, these types of vendors had way too much going on to give us 100% on such a large suite of services. We also found that skill gaps were very evident; they were very talented at some things, but often lacked basic knowledge and expertise in the other services they offered. There's nothing inherently wrong with going with a vendor such as this, but there's an inherent risk to you that something is going to slip through the cracks. For peace of mind, we tried to stick with vendors who specialised in one specific thing.
Another consideration that came up was that some vendors who offered several different services required us to use all their in-house services; we did not have a choice to bring in a third-party vendor. This might work for some, but if you are very particular about how you want something done, you have very little control over what your wedding could end up looking like. Considering that you will often not see what you are paying for until the day-of, this was a non-negotiable for us.
Avoid decor companies that don’t give samples
This one may seem pretty intuitive as well, but as mentioned, there are many vendors out there that operate with the “yup we’ll do that” approach with very little additional information or basic customer service. The problem with this approach is that you don't have a clear picture of what you're signing up for. Take this one as an important piece of advice: a decor company should provide samples; if a decor company doesn't provide samples and they expect you to walk in on the day of the wedding and see it for the first time without any mock-ups, renderings or small samples, walk away. There's a high risk that you won't get what you're looking for. When you're vetting a decor vendor, check their socials and make sure that you're happy with the work that you see. Reach out to the vendor and ensure they provide samples, ask them when they’ll be provided, and get everything in writing. Contact their previous clients and ask them what their experience was like. Ask them how the decor turned out, and how well the vendor communicated with them. Get these questions answered to avoid being disappointed.
Watch out for quotes that are “are subject to change”
Quotes can be subject to change, but it should not change once it is in the contract and signed by both of you, unless the contract states otherwise. A good contract will outline every line item you’re paying for. For example, we once worked with a vendor who noted in his quote that costs might increase if the product specifications changed. Months later, without any changes on our end, he tried to bill us several thousand dollars more. When we asked for an explanation and a breakdown of the added costs, he couldn’t provide one.
When signing with a vendor, insist on explicit, line-by-line wording of exactly what you’re paying for. If a vendor refuses to provide a cost breakdown, walk away. If they say prices are subject to change, get a written range. Always ask upfront about potential extra fees and make sure they’re documented. If a vendor resists your push for clarity and structure, take it as a red flag.
